I'm still alive! :)

"They say the definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting a different result..."

Madness is pretty much the definition of my life the past two weeks. This is the two week point from when Chris and I broke up and I can confidently say that I have done some pretty crazy, irrational, stupid, out of line and outrageous things. What is the one thing it was all routed on? My deep feelings for Chris and the hopefulness that he would take me back.

Desperation and clinginess have been my second names these past two weeks. I am not proud of the things I have done to get Chris's and others (like family and friends') attention(s). In addition, I am well aware that my emotional roller coaster ride has driven many people (besides Chris) absolutely nuts. Although I know my family and friends will always be there for me, how long should they listen to me complain and long after Chris and getting him back?

For this reason, I have decided to surrender. I have given into my feelings of despair and recognized that they are normal. What I can do from here is maintain a positive attitude and look at this as letting Chris go in hopes that he finds true happiness in life. This is one of the hardest things possible to do and live out on a daily basis. There are times that I long for him back in my life, but I realize that if we are truly meant to be, time will serve its purpose.

I definitely feel that all this will make me a stronger person. It already has- and for that I am thankful.